Menopause and Pelvic Floor
Welcome to a new episode of our “Pelvic Floor and Where To Find It” Series! This episode is fully dedicated to menopause.
Index:
What is the definition of menopause?
Induced menopause
We spend more time in menopause then having periods
Symptoms of menopause
Sex in menopause is very important
Positive aspects of menopause no one usually pays attention to
Take outs
It seems that when a womxn enters menopause it is the end of her life as a womxn. The end of her sexual drive and, consequently, of sex. The end of the time when someone should want or desire her. The end of her femininity.
This is completely wrong. Sadly, those thoughts have been rooted in our heads since when we were little girls. It happened to our mothers and to our grandmas (with much worse shame and social pressure) and it is nobody’s fault.
If you have been lucky enough to be born in an environment that promotes equality and someone has educated you properly on your body and your rights, then you might find it easier to get rid of those taboos and false myths. But even if that’s the case, our culture and the society we live in reminds us that menopause is the end everyday (among other things on womxn’s intimate health) so it is a long journey to get rid of those thoughts.
In this episode Anna and I will try to give you a totally different perspective on menopause and to turn those false beliefs upside down.
What is the definition of menopause?
Let’s define menopause first.
If you are into menopause you are not ill. It might sound pretty obvious since menopause is just a physiological stage into a womxn’s life, but since people tend to act as if they suddenly got something wrong when it comes to menopause, so we’d like to state it loud and clear.
When your period stops for an entire year, that’s when menopause begins. Our body stops ovulating and getting ready for a potential pregnancy due to a change in our hormones levels. This is the case of “spontaneous” menopause, but we have to take into consideration that some womxn might get into menopause because they are forced into it as a result of a surgery.
Induced menopause
As a result of surgery we might get into menopause way earlier than the average. In this case, there are two different types of surgeries with different implications; if we have to remove only our uterus, we’ll stop having periods but we won’t technically be in menopause as our ovaries will still be active and produce hormones. In the opposite case, when our ovaries are removed, then we’ll be in menopause.
Induced menopause might happen also as a result of chemotherapy or other treatments.
We spend more time in menopause then having periods
On average, womxn enter into menopause at 51 and live up to 88 years old. So, we spend more time without having periods than being fertile. As any change in our life, it’s a phase where things have to find their balance again. Puberty works in the same way, but we don’t perceive it as we do with menopause. It is not possible to act as if our life as a womxn is over for 40 years! It’s time for a change.
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You may also like: Menopause - The Female Transition
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Symptoms of menopause
We are used to reading a long list of symptoms linked to menopause; from frequent mood swings and hot flashes to atrophy and vaginal dryness. One of the most common “side effects” of menopause is intimate pain - sadly, it is also the most ignored one with the biggest impact into our everyday lives.
Bare in mind that you don’t have to experience them all, you might get into menopause without big symptoms or having just one.
The mindset we have to handle menopause is life changing. We are getting older and our body is not as it was when we were 20, that’s normal. But if we embrace this and we act to prevent some of those symptoms, menopause will not get in the way of our quality of life and sexuality. We can take care of all changes involving our pelvic floor, as you might be aware at this point of this series, with pelvic physical therapy. This is valid at any age, even if it’s 10 years you are already into menopause.
Getting into a more positive mindset when menopausing is more complicated as a result of the taboos we have internalised but if we push ourselves in order to see the good aspects of this new phase, we can really get rid of the old, patriarchal perspective on menopause.
Sex in menopause is very important
A common thought around sex and menopause is: it gets too complicated to take care of all those chages, then my sex drive is not as before so that I just pass on sex.
If we get into the cultural loop of not feeling good with your body anymore, being too old for sex, too old for feeling sexy, “it’s not appropriate at my age to…” etc, we’ll easily end in giving up on masturbation and on sex in general - and blame it on lower homones.
There is absolutely no judgement in this process; it is simply what we have been “programmed” to think and how we are expected to act by culture.
Humans are sexually active throughout their entire life and it is a human right to have a healthy and pleasurable sexual life - said the WHO. That includes womxn, just to be crystal clear. We are womxn with desires, fantasies and a sex drive even without hormones and periods.
Truth is hormones are not the only elements driving our sex drive and if we stop masturbating (or having sex) we actually end up increasing our atrophy and decreasing our chance to experience pleasure. That’s why it is very important to keep on touching or vulva and having sex during menopause.
Positive aspects of menopause no one usually pays attention to
You don’t have to be worried about getting pregnant any more (which usually turns out in increased libdo).
You have gained a better knowledge of your body and desire (latest surveys said women have their best sex over 45).
If you have kids, they’ll probably be grown up by the time you get to menopause so you have more time for yourself.
At some point you might retire and be free to do whatever you like (including more time for sex).
Latest studies show womxn have a pleasurable sexual life even after 70 yo!
We are almost in 2021 and even though womxn’s sexuality is not fully socially accepted yet, we have to acknowledge that today womxn have much freedom to have sex with whom they want at any age.
Take outs
Anna and I hope that this episode will be useful to smash taboos on menopause and help you get into a positive (and different) mindset - which is truly life changing!
Sexuality is important and pleasurable even in menopause but please, bare in mind that STIs are transmitted at any age. Play safe!