Squirting is just for porn stars
Squirting is most of the time an “omg, no way, shut up!” kind of topic.
Usually, people don’t believe that women can actually ejaculate, women included. So let’s start by saying…this is wrong.
Squirting is not just something fake you see in porn; it happens in real life, too. It’s not common to find women who do squirt, though (it seems to be less than 10%). Also, it’s a taboo topic, of course, so if you put these two things together, we have a pretty good reason for the ‘myth’ of female ejaculation.
Squirting happens when a woman, after a specific stimulation, is able to release a transparent-ish fluid from her Skene’s Gland. Female ejaculation gives women deeper and more intense contractions than a normal orgasm—a full release of energy. It can range from a few drops, to a quantity similar to the average sperm ejaculation, to even way more than that.
Ok then, where is and what is Skene’s Gland?!
The Skene’s Gland is very close to the urethra and very small, which is why people sometimes think the liquid comes from the same place wee comes from. Further, when you’re about to squirt, the sensation you have is the same as if you have to pee, so a bit of confusion is fair enough.
The Skene’s Gland is also called the female prostate because the liquid has similar chemical components as the one produced by the male prostate (like PSA) and it can be from 0.9 to 2.3 inches big.
All women have the Skene’s Gland so, technically, all women can squirt.
I’d say most women can squirt. There are very few studies on female ejaculation and in some cases, even with the right stimulation, some women couldn’t ejaculate.
Based on a chat I had with a sex coach, it also seems that squirting has become a cause of distress in some women who tried and couldn’t get there.
There is always so much pressure on the performance, the act, the “how to” have sex, and the climax, that we forget the key aspect: the way the whole experience makes us feel.
Squirting is not for everybody; it’s something you could try if you wanted to, just like everything else in life. But there’s nothing to be worried about or ashamed of if you don’t get it.
Plus, even though most of us could potentially ejaculate on a physical level, the reality is that we need at least four things to be in the right situation to potentially squirt: relaxation, stimulation, great communication and intimacy with our partner.
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You may also like: A Step by Step Guide to Squirting
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Relax
I always say that the brain is the real female sex organ. “OMG, what if I get it wrong and I pee in the middle of sex!! I’d die.” This is the most common cause of stress women have when they try to squirt since the feeling one has is very similar to peeing. Instead of releasing all the energy and the liquid, we contract, because we are worried it’s pee.
The first thing to do is to get rid of this idea.
It’s not easy, I know. Our partners need to understand how we feel and be open to the possibility that if this happens, it’s ok.
The second thing is valid when it comes to sex in general: if we are worried about our cellulite or someone hearing us, or we’re distracted by anything else, we are not in the moment. We have to forget about everything else in the world, concentrate all of our attention on our body, the feelings, and the emotions we are experiencing in that moment. We need to be focused, especially when it comes to squirting, which is a deep and intense release of energy and orgasm.
Stimulation
I had the chance to chat with a sex coach and several squirters, so I’ll dedicate my next article to one of the most used techniques to make women squirt! Female ejaculation requires the stimulation of a special area inside the vagina, on the front wall. We can call this area G Spot, or the place of the internal part of the Skene’s Gland. No matter what the name is, that’s the right spot.
Communication
Sharing this experience with a partner is amazing and can also be challenging. It’s extremely important we have an open and honest conversation with our partner about squirting, what we’d like to do, to feel, and to experience together. We should chat about this before actually doing it but also while we are having sex, in order to connect and to guide one another into this great, powerful, deep orgasm. Be sure you are both comfortable with this and have fun!
All in all, squirting is not just for porn stars. We have to be honest and separate the fictional representation of sex and ejaculation we see in porn and real life sex.
Squirting is not just the cherry on top of our partner’s amazing performance, as porn usually represents it, but it’s also something we pretty much play a main role in.
Squirting is sharing pleasure.
