This is the amazing outcome of an incredibly funny and empowering afternoon I spent with some squirters and a sex coach.
There’s a bit of confusion and lack of scientific studies about squirting and that’s a shame; so last week I talked about Skene’s Gland a bit, specifically about how things are around our vulva and vagina (it’s always good to know some anatomy). However, I know the best way to overcome a taboo is talking about it! So, I started asking almost every woman I’ve met in the past month: hey, btw, do you squirt??
Aaaand I was lucky enough to find a group of 5 women who do!
So after several drinks, lovely food and very long, fantastic conversations about the vagina, we agreed on a technique to make us squirt.
Warning: squirting is not a must. It doesn’t make us cooler, sexier, or better in bed. It’s not something we do for other people. It’s not something easy and there is nothing wrong if you can’t do it!
I’m also not a fan of the “how to” or “instruction manual” approach to sex. However, one of the outcomes of our convo was this: there is a specific stimulation technique that helps ejaculation, so it’s good to know how it works.
A must: be creative. Concentrate on your feelings and emotions. Make this technique yours! What matters is how it makes you feel.
1. Find the G Spot
Insert one or two fingers into the vagina and feel along the front wall with your fingertips. It’s enough to insert up to the second knuckle since the G Spot is usually between 1–3 inches inside the vaginal canal. Use a “come here motion” to locate the spot. You should feel a nob or a rough zone. If she is already well aroused, the tissue will feel like a sponge. You got it!!
Note: Please, please, please cut your nails first!
Note of the note: There’s no shame whatsoever if you need lube: use it!
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2. Keep going with the “come here” motion
You can use your thumb to stimulate the clit at the same time. Speed and intensity are at your own pleasure. Remember: it’s a warm up! Ladies, some feedback is very much appreciated here.
3. Get ready to change the motion
When she comes closer and closer to orgasm (and you can tell that from the way she squeezes your under hand or the moan she’s making, or better yet, she can tell you, because communication is the key to great sex) that’s the moment when you have to change the stimulation. You really want to wait until she is pretty close to the big O.
4. Start shaking
Stop doing the gentle “come here” motion and make your fingers more rigid, as well as the thumb on the clit. Tense up all the muscles in your wrist and arm, and start shaking vigorously from your arm muscles. It’s an up and down shaking.
Note: this is an intense stimulation technique, so you have to be vigorous. Don’t be afraid of hurting her BUT of course, follow her instructions.
Note of the note: some partners use their palm against the clit to better stimulate it instead of the thumb.
5. Keep going
You should start seeing her having a very intense orgasm, maybe convulsing, laughing, crying (all emotions are possible here, the release of energy is very intense) aaand starting to ejaculate. DON’T STOP when you start seeing that! You have to keep going until the very end when she starts calming down.
Now you can relax and cheer yourself up!
Fundamental Side Notes
A mindful approach to sex and squirting is crucial. You have to forget everything and just focus on your body and sensations.
Foreplay is very important. Everything from caressing, kissing, to playing with your entire body helps to get to a mindful state.
Having a great feeling with your partner and being communicative with each other is extremely helpful. Also, be sure you are both comfortable.
Dear beloved partners, squirting is a tiring technique. It can take quite a bit of vigorous shaking or the ‘come here motion’ so…train a bit!
Dear ladies, you don’t need a partner to squirt. You can stimulate your G Spot with the help of a dildo or a vibrator to reproduce the strong stimulation and be able to ejaculate.
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So, to the ones who are already setting up everything to start a potential squirting session, I wish you the best of luck, ladies! But remember, it could take a while to get there and even if it doesn’t happen, it’s ok.
Sex is not about the performance, it’s about enjoying every single step of the journey.
PS: Thank you so much my lovely squirters for sharing your intimate experiences, your thoughts, and emotions with me. This is priceless! And you’ll get a piece of that in next week’s article, too.