I still remember the day I bought my first sex toy. I sheepishly crept into a sex shop late at night, I grabbed a garnished-coloured rabbit one, headed to the checkout counter and left.
It was ages ago (almost 15) and there were no nice shops or in-design products. Oh, the embarrassment! Thankfully, those days are over.
Buying your first sex toy is anyway kind of a big deal, it’s a very personal object and you want to think about it. You’ll likely spend 30 or more minutes trying to pick up one. If there’s a problem with sex toys nowadays is that we have too much choice, it’s overwhelming. Should it vibrate or not? Clit or no clit? Does it matter if it’s waterproof? Where do you even start?!
It’s the kind of thing you want to do from the comfort of your home, where you can debate the pros and cons of this or that vibrator maybe with some help from a friend or a lover.
To help you out, I’ve put together this beginner’s guide about how to choose your first sex toy. But I’ll start easy with the very basic questions you should ask yourself first; once you have figured them out, we can go more into the details.
What do YOU like?
It’s easy to get lost when you compare the features of ten different models. So let's start from the most important thing here, you. Think about what do you like, what kind of stimulation do you need or want to try? Do you like something to use solo or to share?
Speaking about stimulation, manual or electric?
Vibrations add something more. A kind of extra power to whatever you do to your sweet spots! Speed settings allows you to play with different levels of intensity to stimulate your clit externally or internally. If you don’t know yet whether you like strong or soft vibration, then choose a toy that has a wide range of modes and patterns, to be sure you’ll find yours.
If you love something that is closer to a penis and to the real-sex-feeling, then choose a dildo (which is a toy that doesn’t vibrate). You can still play with material, dimensions and shapes!
Do you want clitoral stimulation, vaginal or both? Do you prefer anal?
There is the right toy for everything! If you care about giving your clit amazing vibes then you can choose a small toy shaped to gently massage it and being also easy to hold.
For vaginal stimulation a toy with a good grip, powerful motors and a fair enough circumference is the best choice to be in full control of your pleasure!
And if you don’t want to give up on anything, try the “rabbit” toys! They all have a small arm to stimulate the clit and a bigger one for internal stimulation, all at the same time!
+ Our Selection for you
If you are looking also for something anal, plenty of toys out there pleasure both, so you don’t have to choose. An example? Gpop 2. Its slim body easily fits without stretching it too much so it’s perfect to introduce you to the joys of anal play. And when you’re in the mood for something more traditional, switch things up and use it vaginally (don’t forget to give it a good clean first!). But you can also choose something totally dedicated to anal!
Do you want to use it mainly alone or with your partner?
So every toy can be used together, just use your creativity and let yourself go. But if you are looking for some extra stimulation, especially clitoral, during penetration, you need to check “couple toys”. There are no-intrusive toys and wearable ones but the most important feature they have is bringing you and your partner closer in experiencing deep and great orgasms.
There are of course many other things you want to check before buying a toy, starting from the material (you have to be sure it is medical grade and body-safe), the size, is it waterproof, is it noisy?
But I suggest you start thinking about those main questions first, surf a bit around and then we can go further into details in the following weeks!
Also don’t forget to:
Watch The Videos
I’m not suggesting you go looking for dildo reviews on Youporn. These days, most toys have videos that demonstrate how they work. They’ll show you how to use them, what size they really are and the kind of games you can play with them. Best of all, you can hear if the toy is as silent as it claims it is. You don’t want to discover that when your kids are knocking on your door because the noise has woken them up!
You may also like: 12 Masturbation Techniques
Read The Reviews
Watching videos gives you a pretty good idea of what a toy can do, but they’ll likely won’t show you the real action. The closest you get to that is by reading other people’s reviews. They’ll tell you if the toy has lived up to their expectations or caused some embarrassing mishaps (these can be very addictive and entertaining).
I hope these tips help you narrow down your choices and choose the right toy for all your sexual needs. This is just the start. Soon, you’ll build up a big collection, I’m sure!
By: Virginia Sofia Cerrone
Credits: Pic2: Noxshop