While some couples find introducing sex toys into the bedroom intimidating, others love the idea of injecting more fun and intimacy.
Some people may think you are not satisfied with your partner, and others will argue that once you try them, you’ll never look back. But the most important thing to remember, is that you and your partner(s) are the only ones involved in making a choice.
“My partner doesn’t want a couple toy because they think that this means they are not enough for me” - a sex toy is never a substitute for a person, it’s just a new experience or an experiment. See it as a fun activity, a change, something to enhance the pleasure for everyone involved.
I’d suggest opening the couples toy conversation in a non-sexual situation. Take some time and place yourselves in a situation that puts you at ease; if the idea comes from another person involved in the relationship, feel free to express your feelings and expectations.
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What are the different couple toys and how do you use them?
- Cock rings or penis rings: they are perfect for heterosexual couples. They are worn on the penis and they are double-acting: thanks to the vibrations, they stimulate the clitoris and help the erection to last longer. The best positions are the “missionary” and its variations (mostly those that are head-on) - where the ring can lean against the clitoris. It’s a win-win for both partners. Not sure about the model? Have a look at Dante, Atom and Tor 2, to get an idea.
- Non-intrusive toys: for couples where there’s a clitoris (heterosexual or not). The perfect example is Eva, the mini toy by Dame that tucks under the woman's labia majora and vibrates for her pleasure. It can be used in all positions, depending on how you feel more comfortable. Just an advice: if, in the meantime, there’s another kind of stimulation, a more dynamic one (like penetration with a penis or a toy) I suggest that you sustain Eva a little, so that it won’t fall at the best part.
- More intrusive toys: nothing colossal, though. They are suitable for heterosexual couples. Some examples are Noa or Tiani 2 - they stimulate both the clitoris and internally. And the penis? No worries, there’s room for your partner’s penis too: it will contribute to the internal stimulation. Best positions? Use your imagination.
- Strap-on: this toy can satisfy both lesbian couples and heterosexual ones (have you ever heard about pegging? You can read about it in this article). It’s the perfect replacement for a penis. For those with a well trained pelvic area and good knowledge of their bodies, there’s also the strap-less option. Here is an example.
- Sway: great for lesbian couples - it can stimulate both partners at the same time, thanks to its vibrations that spread to both ends, like an upgraded double dildo! For those who like it, it can rapidly warm up to 40°. To enjoy Sway at its best, head-on positions are perfect - being a multifunctional toy, its use is up to your creativity. It’s also recommended for prostatic and anal stimulation - Sway can bring pretty much everyone together.
- Toys with a remote control: we don’t want to forget about all those long-distance relationships - in this pandemic some of these toys have saved couples! Remote-controlled toys can be used through smartphones with easy-to-use apps. They can be used together or you can let your partner(s) decide. There are models for all tastes. Do you enjoy clitoris stimulation with waves? Then Love Triangle is your choice. Clitoral stimulation that can be placed in your underwear and be hands-free? Then Jeanne is your friend. If you prefer internal stimulation, choose between Flamingo (a veteran, loved by many women) or the newest Muse Red. And leave your partner(s) to choose the intensity and stimulation patterns.
- Finger toys: these toys can really fit anyone. Have you ever dreamed of making your fingers vibrate? Today it’s a reality thanks to these tiny, discreet but powerful toys that can really spark your intimacy. They are not just for the vulva and the clitoris - use them during foreplay to tickle the neck, the nipples, or to stimulate him on the perianal zone and the testicles. Any suggestions? Fin. No specific place to use it, feel free to explore and stimulate both yourself and your partner(s) however you please.
Pleasure can be expressed in endless ways, sex toys too! In the couple toy world, you are never alone. You should always take into account the desires and the pleasure of each person involved. Communication is key in everything related to intimacy. And moving out of your comfort zone together, can often help you better understand yourself and others.