As with so many areas of intimate health, both can elicit feelings of difficulty and discomfort when it comes to conversations on the subject, but particularly the menopause, as at minimum, there is an element of sexual education when we are younger and starting our periods that this gets covered by.
The definition of menopause is ‘the exact point in your life when you have stopped having periods for a total of 12 months’.
The average age that women go through menopause in the UK is 51, but 1% of women under 40 will undergo early menopause, and even though we see that this is something that is majorly impacting women at whatever age and stage of their life, we still approach the subject as taboo.
Let me clarify that menopause is just another phase of a person's life; it's not the end, it doesn't have to be bad and culturally we should stop seeing it as something somehow negative.
I recently listened to an episode of The Hotbed Collective where they interviewed Meg Matthews who had described the menopause as the worst 18months of her life. So much though that she started a mission to try and help others who may have been feeling the same way as she did by providing support and education through her website.
The other thing that she highlighted was that there are at least 34 symptoms that may impact women in varying degrees and combinations dependent on the individual.
In this interview one of the pieces of advice I was so pleased to hear mentioned was that her gynaecologist had told her that she should continue masturbating as a way of keeping her vagina healthy and lubricated and also to keep her sexuality active; as one of the challenges of menopause can be that it’s harder to reach orgasm and that this can be even harder if you haven’t experienced sexual pleasure for a while.
Aside from this we know that orgasm offers the benefits of a flood of dopamine and oxytocin to the brain activating a reward response and basically making us feel good.
When either masturbating or having sex during this period of time when you are perimenopausal, menopausal or post-menopausal lubricant plays an important role here and I would highly recommend an organic or water-based product such as Sliquid Satin.
Avoid anything scented, flavoured or with added effects such as tingle as you do not want to cause any irritation. Vaginal dryness which can make penetration uncomfortable is a common side effect of menopause, which is why lubricant is so important and helpful. In terms of clitoral stimulation it can also add a change in texture which can be very pleasurable.
If you are interested in using sex toys during this time, either by yourself or with your partner then try something simple such as the Pom for clitoral stimulation; having orgasms is very good for the body at all ages.
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As always consider foreplay and touch to be an essential part of your sexual routine if with a partner, and give yourself a bit more time if you are struggling to feel as aroused as usual. These hormonal changes can impact your sexual arousal and desire, but as we know sexual desire is responsive and doesn't depend only from hormones so give yourself an opportunity to enjoy being sexual with a partner.
Remember that sex has to be pleasurable; intercourse can create discomfort for many different reasons, at all ages, but if you really want to experience it anyway - even though you can have very pleasurable sexual activity even without it, you can try Ohnut a soft-buffer ring that alloys you to control the depth of penetration and relief pain.
Pleasure is your right, whatever age or state of life.
It seems that care is limited to menopause, when changes in the area are already evident through atrophy, dryness, eventually pain and sometimes infections, even urinary.
People tell you about the latest skin regenerator, the latest product for curly hair, but no one mentions vaginal hydration. Everything is as hidden as the vagina is hidden.
Taking care of your vulva and vagina does not have to be a feat, nor does it imply that you will spend all day applying creams or gels or invest money on them. It all starts with knowing yourself. While it is true that physiologically everything is all right, the ageing process also affects the genitals. Wrinkles won’t appear until a certain age has elapsed, but the more pampered the genital mucosa is the better recipient of pleasant sensations it will be.
Let me be clear; I'm not suggesting this for any cosmetic reason. Each single vulva is different and beautiful. You don't need to use deodorant or perfumes, shining creams or similar. I suggest you take care of your hygiene an hydration correctly.
It is not necessary to do deep genital douches, because this eliminates your bacterial flora that is what protects you. In terms of moisturising, there are very good formulations in pharmacies that, when used on a weekly basis, are a caress for your genitals. Remember your vagina has an acid pH!
You don’t need to moisten the area in an exaggerated way, as this could cause the special microenvironment of the vulva and vagina to break down, depriving you of protection. So, small quantities, used at least once a week if you are young and regularly if you are near or at menopause, will be enough. Satin liquid lubricant can be used for daily moisturising (find it in the product slider).
The same happens with lubrication: the fact that you naturally lubricate well does not limit you from eventually using lubricants that reduce friction during foreplay, masturbation or penetration. Lubricants can be used as an additive in your sexual relationship and masturbation to increase pleasurable sensations.
First take a close look at the ingredients to make sure they don’t contain parabens, other than medicated formulations with anaesthetics, steroids or antibiotics (for infections or inflammation for example).
There are products on the market with hyaluronic acid, centella asiática/gotu kola and other ingredients to regenerate and maintain balance. If you have any symptoms, check with a specialist before opting for a moisturiser or lubricant.
Now that you know, add to your shopping list the following: day and night moisturiser for the face, a product for your hairstyle and your vaginal moisturiser.
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